First of all, we can say that people show their feelings to others but they dont show the needs which are the roots of these feelings. This makes the conversations between people without communication, understanding or connection and it let people communicate like robots even without listening each others.
When people face with a negative speech or comment that we call enemy fire in conversations, usually they use some strategies that creates disconnection between them, we can cite these strategies as fight, freeze and flight. In fight strategy, people immediately answer with negative feelings like sadness or fury, in freeze situation, they dont know what to do and in flight strategy, they run away. All of these strategies create a disconnection in communication because people dont observe the facts behind the conversation.
The best way of connecting language can be described as; observation, feelings, needs and requests. The most important thing is to make request after understanding the facts and needs in the conversation.
We can also cite the communication styles as we see in the picture below. Our behaviours and communication styles change according to our focus and concerns, and understanding each other play a big role to create a connecting communication without conflicts.
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